Making Mistakes, Forgiving the Self, Moving On
Rosemerry and Christie on finding a cocoon of self-compassion for the creative self
“This trust in the form and your trust in the process transcends the task.” —Christie Aschwanden
Preview: Episode 106 How to Step Out of the Self-Loathing Spiral
This episode begins with what looks like a creative disaster. As Rosemerry shares, “So I go to bed that night and I wake up a couple hours later and I think, ‘Oh sweetheart, you did it all wrong. You are going to have to do it all over again.’” Has this ever happened to you? And in that moment of realization—when the critic is actually on target—there is the chance to beat the self up—to heap on shame and belittling. There is also the chance to wrap treat the self with great tenderness and generosity.
In this heartfelt episode, full of epiphany and wonder, Rosemerry and Christie explore a recent creative disaster turned into a lightning bolt of insight—how we might learn to treat our creative selves with generosity and gentleness, how to honor authenticity and vulnerability, and … you guessed it … how to trust the creative process and the emerging form.
What We’re Reading and Listening to:
Rosemerry:
What does it mean to be a translator? What tasks, what stresses, what responsibilities come with this? How does it shift the dynamics of a family when young children become the translators for their parents and grandparents? I am so grateful that R. Joseph Rodriguez introduced me to this 20-minute film from Rudy Valdez which screened last year at Tribeca. It’s a powerful look into the lives of three young translators and their families.
And a bit more on translation with this poem, I was so moved by this poem, “Translation,” written by Julian Randall and performed for the New York Times by actor Robin de Jesús. So many layers of connection and disconnection in this poem and performance.
Christie:
I love this tribute to Jimmy Carter, especially the closing quote from his grandson, Jason Carter. “I don’t know what it’s like for him right now. I don’t know what it’s like to face this moment in the way that he has been facing it for the last year. But that’s been liberating for me to know that I just don’t know. And that’s OK.”
I read Jenny Offill’s novel, Weather, in one night. It felt like tagging along the protagonist as she ponders the cataclysmic implications of climate change while going about daily tasks. I picked it up and couldn’t stop reading. But the best thing about the book is that it ends with a link to this surprisingly helpful “Obligatory Notes of Hope.”
In Art Class Making Aspen Trees
Everything is fixable,
said Kellie, as she
sprayed her painting
with water, then
held the canvas
on its side until
white paint streaked
across her forest, and
for six hours I lived
in that fixable world
of paint and paper
and brushes and
stencils, a world
of improvisation
and play, a world
where I wandered
in pale green and
deep blue, where
I trusted a glade
of my own making,
rested in that shade
where there were
no problems, just
new invitations to
reimagine what
might happen next,
and smudges became
birds, and tears became
trees, and my sorrow
became an aspen
grove where nothing
was fixed, but for six
sacred hours there
was nothing the
light couldn’t touch.
—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, after taking an art class from Kellie Day
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This week, Rosemerry shares five poems on the evolution of trust and how essential it is to creative practice–how it develops, and how it changes our relationship with the world and each other. If you are not yet a paid subscriber, you can go now to our website, EmergingForm.substack.com, or by clicking the button below. Thank you!
Two Questions:
(share your answers with us here on Substack or in our FB group)
How does trust inform your creative practice?
Share a moment when you were able to practice compassion with your creative self.
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Emerging Form is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.