There's a Memoirist in Our Family
Author Laura Davis on the intricacies of telling a family story
“Ultimately, I came around and realized I had to reveal more of my weaknesses … we both had to be three dimensional. It took many years to reveal my failings, accentuate them, as well as the places I succeeded,” —Laura Davis
Preview: Episode 92 Laura Davis shares the backstory on telling her story
“I know it’s hard to have a writer in the family,” Laura Davis wrote to her relative when she shared about the memoir she’d be writing about her own mother—a mother/daughter story about how love might endure, even under trying circumstances. Though Laura’s mother had betrayed her in the past, Laura still chose to take care of her mother in her final years. But the story is not an easy one to live or to tell, and in this episode of Emerging Form, Laura talks about making the change from writing non-fiction to memoir, creating three-dimensional main characters in memoir, the many layers (and individual versions) of truth, and considering the wishes of living relatives in the telling of the story. It’s a blunt, brave episode.
Laura Davis is the author of The Burning Light of Two Stars, The Courage to Heal, and four other groundbreaking books. In addition to writing books that inspire, the work of Laura’s heart is to teach. For more than twenty years, she’s helped people find their voices, tell their stories, and hone their craft. Laura has been published in Publisher's Weekly, Writer's Digest, CrimeReads, Brevity, and The New York Times, featured in Los Angeles Review of Books, and on QWERTY, Write-Minded, The Only One in the Room, and dozens of other podcasts. She's a featured speaker for The National Association of Memoir Writers and a popular craft teacher at The San Miguel Writer's Conference. Laura is teaching a special series of online summer pop-up classes this summer and will be leading her signature Writing as a Pathway Through Grief retreat in August. Next spring, she’ll be taking a group to Bali for an in-depth dive into Balinese spirituality and healing practices. You can learn about Laura’s retreats, workshops, and classes, and read the first five chapters of her memoir at www.lauradavis.net.
What We’re Reading and Listening to:
Rosemerry:
I want an “Understanderer.” Our listener John Mason sent me this comic, Pearls Before Swine—this device will change the world.
How do our brains process grief? I am so grateful for this TED talk on the science of grief and how we might be on board with our own healing by Mary-Frances O’Connor. The neurobiology suggests that our brain is actually on board with helping to transform our relationship with our deceased loved one.
Christie:
Anthony Fauci’s essay about “loving difficult people” is a beautiful reflection on his friendship with activist Larry Kramer, who often viewed Fauci as an adversary. By the end of Kramer’s life, they’d become genuine friends.
NASA’s Europa Clipper mission is leaving next year on a five-and-a-half-year journey to Jupiter with a very special piece of cargo: A delightful poem from U.S. Poet Laureate Ada Limón. More at Scientific American.
I love this little comic, “Productivity Hacks I Tried That Did Not Work,” especially since it includes a little cameo from friend of Emerging Form Catherine Price.
The cherry trees on my farm are bursting with fruit right now, and I’m loving this beautiful essay in Orion Magazine from upcoming Emerging Form guest, Melissa L Sevigny.
Following Up with Emily Scott Robinson
Oh, friends. You may recall that in episode 88 on the art of performance, singer/songwriter Emily Scott Robinson shared how she didn’t think anything could really go wrong on stage—that EVERYTHING was a chance to connect with the audience and be real, engaged and connected with them?
I think she still thinks that, but it got put to the test! Emily said I could share with you this email she shared with me about how that theory was soon tested, and how the most imperfect performance might have made for the most perfect night:
I just finished playing a show in my hometown tonight and— you’re going to laugh— I had a VERY serious experience in creative performing because I suddenly had a terrible onset of seasonal allergies right before the show! I was coughing and my voice was hoarse from my sinuses and I had to seriously pivot to release any sense of perfection around my voice. I had to change up my set list, drop the keys of each song, and eat cough drops while I sang. I even did some sing-speaking…
I told the audience that I had just recorded this podcast with you about how nothing “wrong” can really happen on stage 😂😂😂 and that this was the universe testing my commitment to that statement.
It was such a wild night. I made it through, gave one of the most spontaneous and imperfect performances of my life, made people laugh and cry, and kept regrounding myself in my body and remembering it’s about connection— not perfection.
It was hilarious! And fucked up! And awesome! And the audience loved it! And now I definitely have to rest my voice all day tomorrow and take a ton of Sudafed or I might be a deep alto forever 😂😂😂
A Note About Paid Subscriptions:
First, we want to thank ALL our subscribers! We are so grateful you join us in this conversation about what it is to engage with yourself, the world and others in a creative way. And a BIG thank you to our paid subscribers. You make this podcast possible. Starting this month, only our paid subscribers will receive our bonus episodes as a thank you for their financial support.
This week, you can hear Laura Davis talk more about what she learned from writing The Burning Light of Two Stars, including how memoir affects your memory and how to let go of a large project when it’s done—plus why it’s essential to put the creative voyage before thoughts of publishing. If you are not yet a paid subscriber, you can go now to our website, EmergingForm.substack.com, or by clicking the button below. Thank you!
Two Questions:
(share your answers with us here on Substack or in our FB group)
What makes a meaningful life?
How do you handle sharing other people’s lives in your creative work (for instance, writing a poem or song that includes a family member)?
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Emerging Form is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.